smibbo | (no subject)

yes.... I do miss her. No, not the real girl she ended up being, but the woman I thought she was. I miss our relationship before she knew I loved her. I miss her smile, her laughter, her body and her buzzing brain.

There's many things about her I do not miss and I know that. But i've been so busy screaming about the things that hurt and enraged me I forgot why I was ever with her in the first place.

ladylabyrinth said that I had to go through the rage and anger FIRST to prevent the possibility of getting back with her. Good thing, but you can't repress good memories forever.

But I don't want to write all the good stuff down. It would pale in comparison to the reality of being in love with her.

I was in love. I was goofy, stupid, retarded and obsessed as well. It was not a pretty sight.

When I started dating her again, I mentioned it to a coworker who immediately began issuing dire threats against my health and freedom should I even consider getting back together with her. He had only known me for three months and he was quite loud about his opinion on my relationship with her.
"Date Charles Manson," he said "But don't date that crazy bitch who nearly drove YOU crazy or else we'll all know youalready ARE crazy"

There were good things in our relationship, and I miss those things terribly.

There were good things in her and I miss those things terribly.

I can't believe I am not finished with this.

I'm tired.