What is the deal?!

[smibbo]

Lately, there's been a surfeit of females bitching about their exes. Money owed, child support, harrassment, LJ baiting, rumor-mongering, et al.

Is there some law of the universe that says once a man has (or raises even temporarily) a child with a women, if things don't work out, he's GOT to become a spoiled, whiney, check-bouncin', support-dodgin', snide sunnovabitch??? Why is this such a common theme?

Take my ex (please!), he never beat me, never hurt the children physically, didn't gamble, get addicted to drugs, visit prostitutes, fuck my friends, or disappear. Yet, once we split, he's become worse than he EVER was when we were married. The funny part is, most of his failings now only affect me in a irritation sort of way since I don't have to live with him scummy, fucked-up, junkie ass. (Okay, what he does or doesn't do regarding the children definately affects me more than anything, but its still miles better than when we lived with him)

I wonder if the real problem is that, when you live wityh someone for a serious amount of time, they get used to acting asinine. When you finally say "I'm tired of this and I don't have to live with it" they can no longer be asinine in ways that require your presence, they have to figure out ways to be asinine from a distance.

Waddya think?

Comments

Asinine from a distance . . .

[satia.livejournal.com]

That just made me chuckle. I don't know why.

I am clueless about how a so-called man can have any relationship with his children and then disappear from their lives. I mean, it is hard enough for me to understand how my father, who never met me, could go through his daily life knowing I was out there--and he did know--and not know how I was doing, where I was living, etc.

It is odd to me to know that he doesn't know that he has three grandchildren. I am sure he has others with his other children but there is just this thought that he doesn't know about Maeve's drawings, or John's wry wit, or Mordecai's fluency.

His loss.

And then to see it again with my ex husband but worse because he knew his children, made promises and more.

I don't know.

Today I emailed his neice and said that although I didn't want to not hear from her about how she was doing that I had too many emails and was asking everyone to stop emailing forwards unless there was a relevant reason, a message the predicated the forward explaining why she was forwarding, etc. I think I concluded with something like "After all, if you can't take the time to tell me why you think I should read what you are sending me, why should I read it? Besides, if you know I probably won't have time to read it, that is one less email for you to forward."

Actually, that is at least two less emails a day.

If she is offended, I don't really care. I am tired of the preaching with no context or genuine importance in my life.

[ah-pyrettablaze.livejournal.com]

i think distanced from you the asshole-ness grows because it can. take my ex, i'm sure he wouldn't be so cruel and apathetic were he made to see me or face me, but his 600 miles away, comfortably suckling at his mother's teat...what need has he for obligation or responsibility?