smibbo | Glenn Branca is dead (Reply)

He was a crucial part of my growing up from obnoxious teenager to starry-eyed young adult. I had met a lot of musicians and actors but meeting him nearly made me faint. I Ardently loved him for what he did. I didn't want to be a groupie, I wanted to sit at his feet and learn.

I don't tell too many people this but when I did get to hang with him in person (I'd talked to him on the phone a few times before) (i'd also technically met him in person but at the time all I could get out of my mouth was "that was a great show" while staring) we talked about a lot of things and he told me he was managing a new band in New York. HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO MOVE TO NEW YORK TO BE IN THE BAND.

Sadly, at the time I had no desire nor means to move to New York, but I'll never forget that My hero, Glenn Branca offered me a chance to be his protege. But I was intimidated. Yes, Me. I was so terrified by the notion of failing in his eyes that I said "oh wow, no, not right now... maybe in a year?" I said no because I wasn't ready for that much change.

The band was named Rat At Rat R and I have two albums by them. I liked them but they never really took off. It doesn't matter; Glenn Branca did a lot of work and I could have POSSIBLY worked with him. I could have massively changed my life by moving to NYC and joining some band he produced. But it just didn't seem like a rational thing to do. and I was absolutely petrified at the notion of doing something with that much expectation. I was 17. I was just happy to be considered his "biggest fan.... possibly my only fan haha"

I'd written to him a few times after that and always received cordial replies. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of the email I was using last time I emailed him.

But it doesn't matter that much.... I let him know how important he was to me and that's ALL that ever mattered to me when I met my heroes. Just to give them the validation and appreciation they had earned.

Oh Glenn... I hadn't talked to you or even checked out your new work in a while but I will always love you. With all of my starry-eyed, hungry, girlish heart.