Apparently the world hates me
Jun. 25th, 2004 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ptwarhol and ladydagger2evil last night. First, we go to Apres Diem because ptwarhol wants dessert and aka_baphomet wants to work in a wi-fi hotspot. Ugh, it was extremely loud and the food prices were obscene ($7 for a half an avocado on a bed of lettuce? SAY WHAT?!) so we go next door to the good ole' Highlander instead. Hmmm... it's loud and I'm feeling cranky.... what does that mean? It means it's time to take some Imitrex. Although the meds are great and I'm so glad to have something to take that will help me, it's still annoying to get a migraine when I'm supposed to be out having fun with friends. Anyways, I'm thinking "that's cool, I took it early; I won't have any pain, I'll just be a little spaced out and maybe nauseous. I can handle that and have fun anyway".
I go to the bathroom a few minutes later. Coming back, I'm trying to calculate in my head how much time I have before the medicine starts kicking in and how much time I have left to eat before the nausea starts and other such silliness when I turn the corner from the hallway and I get
WACKED!
in the head by a busser carrying a huge rack of glasses to be washed.
Wow.
We collided so hard I bounced back and glanced against the wall. My glasses were atop my head (thankfully they were not broken at all) and I was bent over, staring at the spots on the floor that were making the world careen around me. I was shaking pretty hard too.
Then, of course, the nausea hits me.
Cuz, you see, I'm just not allowed to feel peachy keen lately. That seems to violate the natural order of the universe. Taking meds for migraine? Wack her on the noggin! Eating food for glucose? Throw some nausea her way! Socializing with friends? Let's give her a tension headache coupled with menstrual cramps and generalized crappy mood-swings! Is she taking meds and eating right, sleeping enough and exercising? Oh good gravy no! Let's give her.... hey how about a new stressor.... I know! She'll get FIRED and have NO MONEY! Ahhhh... that's better!
I'm not giving in. I will not lie down and take this. I might cry, I might bitch and moan, but I refuse to give up. I am going to get a new/better job, I'm going to keep eating every day and sleeping minimum 6 hours, and I'm going to keep in touch with the people I care about. I'm not going to go back to my previous shitty lifestyle wherein I never took care of myself and didn't enjoy anything but escape. I LIKE how my life is going now DESPITE all this random BS.
So, go ahead, demons of despair: give me all you've got! Fuck you and your stupid plan to make me crumble. I've got health, I've got love, I've got support and I've got joy. Fuck you demons, I ain't going back. My name is NOT HOTHEAD YET and it's going to stay that way forever. If you don't like it, talk to my beloved; I'm sure he has a few choice things to say to your asses.
ptwarhol and ladydagger2evil last night. First, we go to Apres Diem because ptwarhol wants dessert and aka_baphomet wants to work in a wi-fi hotspot. Ugh, it was extremely loud and the food prices were obscene ($7 for a half an avocado on a bed of lettuce? SAY WHAT?!) so we go next door to the good ole' Highlander instead. Hmmm... it's loud and I'm feeling cranky.... what does that mean? It means it's time to take some Imitrex. Although the meds are great and I'm so glad to have something to take that will help me, it's still annoying to get a migraine when I'm supposed to be out having fun with friends. Anyways, I'm thinking "that's cool, I took it early; I won't have any pain, I'll just be a little spaced out and maybe nauseous. I can handle that and have fun anyway". I go to the bathroom a few minutes later. Coming back, I'm trying to calculate in my head how much time I have before the medicine starts kicking in and how much time I have left to eat before the nausea starts and other such silliness when I turn the corner from the hallway and I get
WACKED!
in the head by a busser carrying a huge rack of glasses to be washed.
Wow.
We collided so hard I bounced back and glanced against the wall. My glasses were atop my head (thankfully they were not broken at all) and I was bent over, staring at the spots on the floor that were making the world careen around me. I was shaking pretty hard too.
Then, of course, the nausea hits me.
Cuz, you see, I'm just not allowed to feel peachy keen lately. That seems to violate the natural order of the universe. Taking meds for migraine? Wack her on the noggin! Eating food for glucose? Throw some nausea her way! Socializing with friends? Let's give her a tension headache coupled with menstrual cramps and generalized crappy mood-swings! Is she taking meds and eating right, sleeping enough and exercising? Oh good gravy no! Let's give her.... hey how about a new stressor.... I know! She'll get FIRED and have NO MONEY! Ahhhh... that's better!
I'm not giving in. I will not lie down and take this. I might cry, I might bitch and moan, but I refuse to give up. I am going to get a new/better job, I'm going to keep eating every day and sleeping minimum 6 hours, and I'm going to keep in touch with the people I care about. I'm not going to go back to my previous shitty lifestyle wherein I never took care of myself and didn't enjoy anything but escape. I LIKE how my life is going now DESPITE all this random BS.
So, go ahead, demons of despair: give me all you've got! Fuck you and your stupid plan to make me crumble. I've got health, I've got love, I've got support and I've got joy. Fuck you demons, I ain't going back. My name is NOT HOTHEAD YET and it's going to stay that way forever. If you don't like it, talk to my beloved; I'm sure he has a few choice things to say to your asses.
