wow

I got the disability. A year of retroactive too.

I'm so blown away I just keep saying "wow" and grinning and laughing and crying.

A large part of that is just relief, I'm glad its over, but DAMN does it feel good to know there's now a "safety net" behind us at all times. We can take me off the private health insurance too because medicare is part of it. I don't have to clean houses anymore!
(I will still keep my current regulars as they're all sporadic clients and I like them. The point is that I don't HAVE to clean houses then see all the money I sweated and hurt myself to earn go to the grocery store and STILL not have enough for next week. OMFG I cannot tell you how relieving this is. Truly. Things are really truly going to be better.

I feel like my entire life of busting my ass, scrounging and going without and sacrificing and giving myself migraines and bruises on a regular basis, it FINALLY comes back and I can...

relax.

For the first time ever I feel like I have permission to truly relax about life. Just a little bit. Stop being scared. Just stop worrying. A little bit.

Wow. Just wow.