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May. 17th, 2005
requesting reader's suggestions
May. 17th, 2005 08:35 amIt has been mentioned to me that I ought to write more about the wild-n-wacky past exploits I had as a wayward teenager in the olden golden days of early Goth/Punk.
Hokay... I personally am of a mind that no one in their right mind wants to read that kind of old-fogey crap but who am I to argue with a "loyal reader"?
So....
[Poll #495443]
EDIT: I AM going to write all of these stories at some point or another, I just want to know which one to do first.
Hokay... I personally am of a mind that no one in their right mind wants to read that kind of old-fogey crap but who am I to argue with a "loyal reader"?
So....
[Poll #495443]
EDIT: I AM going to write all of these stories at some point or another, I just want to know which one to do first.
thought for the evening
May. 17th, 2005 10:27 pm"unconditional love" does not give someone the right to treat you like garbage. If I love you unconditionally that means I love you whether or not you fulfil my expectations, desires or image of who I think you should be. That may sound like carte blanche to allow someone to act like an ass, but it isn't. "Unconditional Love" presupposes that there is REAL LOVE from one person to another. In order for REAL love to exist, there must be a reasonably good understaning of who a person is intrinsicly. You can't unconditionally love someone you don't really know because what you're really doing is thinking you love someone who most likely doesn't exist. It's easy to love someone who lives only in your mind.
There is also the presupposition that love includes respect. I don't know about you but I love myself first an foremost. It is said that you can't really love ANYONE unless you love yourself first. I happen to believe that. Usually, people who don't fully love themselves "fall in love" with another person only because that person presents an image of who they would like to be... in other words, if you don't love yourself, you're going to naturally attach to people who you wish you could be... a kind of loving yourself by proxy. Loving yourself by proxy... now that's serious therapy kinda stuff. Alright, if you love yourself truly, then you know that you deserve a certain amount of basic respect and benefit of the doubt. I expect to be treated with general respect and integrity no matter who I am dealing with. I expect this because I know that I deserve it. I don't deserve it any more than anyone else, but I deserve it just as much as everyone else. Because I believe this, I not only treat everyone with respect and benefit of the doubt from the git-go, I expect the same from strangers. If I see that you cannot afford a stranger respect and courtesy then I know you are not a loving person and you probably don't really love and respect yourself. To me, that is tragic. With that conclusion in mind, I can easily say that my love for such people comes with very definite conditions. I would be disrespectful and discourteous to myself if I were to act otherwise.
Only when I meet someone who loves themselves enough to extend "the golden rule" to strangers do I know I can extend my unconditional love to them. Even if they fail, even if they break rules, even if they hurt me, I will still love them. Mistakes are human, I can love someone through their mistakes, but I cannot truly love someone if their perception of themselves (and general humanity) is so bereft of compassion and the desire to understand that they cannot at least be polite and courteous. If you are a rude or petty inddividual, I consider you to be tragicly ill and therefore not a complete person. I cannot realisticly think that you are presenting your whole true self to me. Therefore how could I possibly love you?
"Unconditional love" is not a lisence to accept pain, disrespect or trauma. "Unconditional love" is about honoring a person for who they really are, despite the flaws, mistakes and momentary weaknesses everyone embodies. How can you honor a person if you don't truly know who they are? How can you truly know someone if they hide behind their own dislike of themselves?
There is also the presupposition that love includes respect. I don't know about you but I love myself first an foremost. It is said that you can't really love ANYONE unless you love yourself first. I happen to believe that. Usually, people who don't fully love themselves "fall in love" with another person only because that person presents an image of who they would like to be... in other words, if you don't love yourself, you're going to naturally attach to people who you wish you could be... a kind of loving yourself by proxy. Loving yourself by proxy... now that's serious therapy kinda stuff. Alright, if you love yourself truly, then you know that you deserve a certain amount of basic respect and benefit of the doubt. I expect to be treated with general respect and integrity no matter who I am dealing with. I expect this because I know that I deserve it. I don't deserve it any more than anyone else, but I deserve it just as much as everyone else. Because I believe this, I not only treat everyone with respect and benefit of the doubt from the git-go, I expect the same from strangers. If I see that you cannot afford a stranger respect and courtesy then I know you are not a loving person and you probably don't really love and respect yourself. To me, that is tragic. With that conclusion in mind, I can easily say that my love for such people comes with very definite conditions. I would be disrespectful and discourteous to myself if I were to act otherwise.
Only when I meet someone who loves themselves enough to extend "the golden rule" to strangers do I know I can extend my unconditional love to them. Even if they fail, even if they break rules, even if they hurt me, I will still love them. Mistakes are human, I can love someone through their mistakes, but I cannot truly love someone if their perception of themselves (and general humanity) is so bereft of compassion and the desire to understand that they cannot at least be polite and courteous. If you are a rude or petty inddividual, I consider you to be tragicly ill and therefore not a complete person. I cannot realisticly think that you are presenting your whole true self to me. Therefore how could I possibly love you?
"Unconditional love" is not a lisence to accept pain, disrespect or trauma. "Unconditional love" is about honoring a person for who they really are, despite the flaws, mistakes and momentary weaknesses everyone embodies. How can you honor a person if you don't truly know who they are? How can you truly know someone if they hide behind their own dislike of themselves?