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first step
May. 12th, 2005 08:34 amWell I called the number to get the information and papers to fill out... we're going to try Foster Parenting.
I always wanted to do that... in fact, I always knew I would eventually. I just figured it would be once I got to the point of not being able to have my own kids anymore. I didn't think it would be this soon. I kind of assumed I'd be doing it when I was closer to 50 or something I guess. Stupid really, I'm nearly 40 now... why does that seem so old and yet not at the same time? It's too soon for me to feel like "I'm getting old" and I don't actually. What digs at me is that the rest of my culture thinks it's old. In a way, I think I'm getting old too, I just don't feel old. I mean, you tell me someone is 40 and I think "ah, peak of life, about to head down to resting time" as in, that's the time you're supposed to be finishing up whatever wildness is still in you and beginning to think about gearing down. Now here I am, at that age, and I don't even feel like I'm in the middle of anything, much less gearing down or finishing up.
---BREAK-----
I do not want to hear a bunch of "feel-good" crap about "oh you're not old!" blahblahblah
Gimme a break people. When you were 20, you thought anyone over 30 was "gettin old". What the hell makes you think I've completely changed my thinking in that respect?
Also, denying the reality of the situation makes it seem like something shameful. Yes, I am getting "old". Just because I recognize this fact doesn't mean it's something BAD. When you act like it isn't true, it is like when people tell cancer patients they'll "get better soon" while they lie in a hospital bed with tubes shooting out of every limb. It's embarrassing for both people and it gets in the way of real dialogue. So just don't go there.
My admission that I am "getting old" might scare you, annoy you or what-the-hell-ever your issues are but that doesn't justify a bunch of people (most of whom seem to be younger than me) rushing up to comfort me. Fuck that shit; I'm getting old, I'm not getting stupid. I don't need comfort. Thanks anyway.
----END BREAK-----
Anyway, as I said, we're starting the process to become Foster Parents. The person I talked to said it takes about two months to get approved. I was surprised because I was under the impression that it takes much longer than that.
I'll be turning in my application for school bus driver hopefully before the weekend. We shall see.
Bah, I was going to write more but I seriously need some coffee.
I always wanted to do that... in fact, I always knew I would eventually. I just figured it would be once I got to the point of not being able to have my own kids anymore. I didn't think it would be this soon. I kind of assumed I'd be doing it when I was closer to 50 or something I guess. Stupid really, I'm nearly 40 now... why does that seem so old and yet not at the same time? It's too soon for me to feel like "I'm getting old" and I don't actually. What digs at me is that the rest of my culture thinks it's old. In a way, I think I'm getting old too, I just don't feel old. I mean, you tell me someone is 40 and I think "ah, peak of life, about to head down to resting time" as in, that's the time you're supposed to be finishing up whatever wildness is still in you and beginning to think about gearing down. Now here I am, at that age, and I don't even feel like I'm in the middle of anything, much less gearing down or finishing up.
---BREAK-----
I do not want to hear a bunch of "feel-good" crap about "oh you're not old!" blahblahblah
Gimme a break people. When you were 20, you thought anyone over 30 was "gettin old". What the hell makes you think I've completely changed my thinking in that respect?
Also, denying the reality of the situation makes it seem like something shameful. Yes, I am getting "old". Just because I recognize this fact doesn't mean it's something BAD. When you act like it isn't true, it is like when people tell cancer patients they'll "get better soon" while they lie in a hospital bed with tubes shooting out of every limb. It's embarrassing for both people and it gets in the way of real dialogue. So just don't go there.
My admission that I am "getting old" might scare you, annoy you or what-the-hell-ever your issues are but that doesn't justify a bunch of people (most of whom seem to be younger than me) rushing up to comfort me. Fuck that shit; I'm getting old, I'm not getting stupid. I don't need comfort. Thanks anyway.
----END BREAK-----
Anyway, as I said, we're starting the process to become Foster Parents. The person I talked to said it takes about two months to get approved. I was surprised because I was under the impression that it takes much longer than that.
I'll be turning in my application for school bus driver hopefully before the weekend. We shall see.
Bah, I was going to write more but I seriously need some coffee.
