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when addiction invades a life...
Mar. 8th, 2004 01:41 pmI finally had a dream that involved LJ. Bad enough it was another one of those dreams where I fall in love with someone and get my heart broken, this time I was walking along the highway despondant and looking for a computer by the side of the highway so I could write about what happened on LJ.
I really didn't think I was that addicted to LJ. Apparently I thought wrong.
Anyway, what do you think it means when you consistantly dream of falling in love with your "soulmate" and subsequently getting your heart broken because said romance is blocked? Why do I keep dreaming about falling in love with other people? Sometimes in the dream I realize I am engaged to Baph and I feel horribly guilty. Sometimes I remember Baph but somehow know that the engagement hasn't "happened" yet and I get confused. Most times, I just feel heartbroken because whoever I'm in love with in the dream cannot be mine for whatever rational reasons. I never dream about consummating the affair - not cheating - but I do dream that this person is just the most perfect person for me ever. Obviously I do not believe it is some kind of portent; otherwise there'd be about 15-20 people out there (some of whom I know IRL as a passing acquaintance) with whom I am supposedly "soul-bonded"
Does any of that make any sense? Onward.
While I keep dreaming about meeting and falling in love and not being able to have my soulmate, Baph keeps dreaming that he catches me cheating on him. Now this is actually pretty weird, because (with two debateable exceptions) I have never cheated on anyone. To the point: I have NEVER cheated on anyone who I had pledged monogamy with. Not only do I feel it is wrong to break a promise (as well as someone's heart) I also simply have never had much issue with "temptation" before. I do not find myself being attracted to other people in any serious way when I am in love. (In case you all missed it, I am definitely in love with Baph)
When I was in the fifth year of my marriage, I started dreaming about murdering my husband. I kid you not. I dreamed constantly of trying to kill him. In some dreams I was just trying very hard to hurt him - but failing - and in other dreams I would make elaborate plans to make him dead. The dreams were baffling at first but later became upsetting and frustrating. I do believe I dreamed about doing violence to him because of the mental, emotional and sexual violence he was doing to me. Five years later, I finally got rid of him.
Now I am in a wonderful relationship with someone I love more than anyone I've ever loved, and I keep dreaming about falling in love with someone else. And HE keeps dreaming about me cheating on him.
Wha?
I really didn't think I was that addicted to LJ. Apparently I thought wrong.
Anyway, what do you think it means when you consistantly dream of falling in love with your "soulmate" and subsequently getting your heart broken because said romance is blocked? Why do I keep dreaming about falling in love with other people? Sometimes in the dream I realize I am engaged to Baph and I feel horribly guilty. Sometimes I remember Baph but somehow know that the engagement hasn't "happened" yet and I get confused. Most times, I just feel heartbroken because whoever I'm in love with in the dream cannot be mine for whatever rational reasons. I never dream about consummating the affair - not cheating - but I do dream that this person is just the most perfect person for me ever. Obviously I do not believe it is some kind of portent; otherwise there'd be about 15-20 people out there (some of whom I know IRL as a passing acquaintance) with whom I am supposedly "soul-bonded"
Does any of that make any sense? Onward.
While I keep dreaming about meeting and falling in love and not being able to have my soulmate, Baph keeps dreaming that he catches me cheating on him. Now this is actually pretty weird, because (with two debateable exceptions) I have never cheated on anyone. To the point: I have NEVER cheated on anyone who I had pledged monogamy with. Not only do I feel it is wrong to break a promise (as well as someone's heart) I also simply have never had much issue with "temptation" before. I do not find myself being attracted to other people in any serious way when I am in love. (In case you all missed it, I am definitely in love with Baph)
When I was in the fifth year of my marriage, I started dreaming about murdering my husband. I kid you not. I dreamed constantly of trying to kill him. In some dreams I was just trying very hard to hurt him - but failing - and in other dreams I would make elaborate plans to make him dead. The dreams were baffling at first but later became upsetting and frustrating. I do believe I dreamed about doing violence to him because of the mental, emotional and sexual violence he was doing to me. Five years later, I finally got rid of him.
Now I am in a wonderful relationship with someone I love more than anyone I've ever loved, and I keep dreaming about falling in love with someone else. And HE keeps dreaming about me cheating on him.
Wha?
