I was in the hospital. I had spinal meningitis AGAIN. I also had a migraine at the same time. The whole episode was awful and painful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I had two - count'em TWO - lumbar punctures (that's when they stick a needle into your spine and draw fluid out). They did the second one the same day my migraine finally stopped. Helloooo NEW migraine! My doctor was rather creepy; he stared a lot before finishing his sentances. They gave me very powerful drugs, one of which (Fenergan) was like acid burning my veins and I cried every time they injected it into me. They IVed me at least two bags of antibiotics each day. They had to give me IV antacids to keep me from throwing up (which I did the entire first night I arrived). I actually stared at television for several hours but later I was able to get my painkillers down to just two and started reading some books. Unfortunately, I got a little used to being put to sleep and now I have to try to wean myself off of sleep-aids. I tried to sleep without one last night and that really didn't go so well. On the other hand I managed to clean the entire kitchen, make breakfast for my troops and pack lunches for all the roommates this morning. It was better than tossing and turning then drifting off into another nightmare.

I realized I still have too much anger and hurt from "the case". Already my back and head hurt again. I am going to try to do some cleansing rituals and meditation today. My outrage is clearly damaging me. Those People are allowed to come and take the boys away for the weekend today. I am not sure they will show up... but I'll find out.

I'm really glad to be home. Staying sober is going to be tough though, with those prescriptions just waiting for me to fill them.