smibbo | true confessions time: (Reply)

Haha! this is really a rant. Not a good rant, I will grant you, but a rant nonetheless.

frankly, I think the vast majority of it is a big fucking bore.

I mean that in terms of "lifestyle" or "conversation-wise" or even viewing porn.

I could care less what people are into - excluding anything non-consensual and that includes anything with a child under the age of 17 - but man oh man I really don't care to hear about it either! Since I've been subjected to it lately anyway.... I figure turnabout's fair play and I'll tell you what I think about these things (some of them anyway)

So you like having the shit kicked out of you? *yawn* I used to get paid to do that. I got my own theories and opinions on those guys.

So you're a woman who wants a man to humiliate you? *Sigh* I see women kow-tow and bow down to men everywhere I go... if you think you need to do it during sex too; how unimaginative.

So you like anal? *shudder* ten years of having to endure that uncomfortable position and slowly realizing that it really was just a metaphor for the verbal same didn't do anything positive for my attitude about that act. OTOH, hey whatever floats your boat man, but I gotta tell you, most married couples do that once a month anyway.... it's not the shockeroonie you think it is. The vast majority of women do not find it pleasureable or even comfortable. They just put up with it and make a lot of porno-sounding noise so you'll get off faster and get off their back.

So you want a threesome? Who doesn't? Oh that's right, you're girlfriend doesn't and you cant' understand why not... just to be nice, I'll tell you: because she is fairly certain that the real reason you want a threesome is because you'd like to fuck someone else without getting into trouble. How wrong is she? Yeah... that's what I thought... unfortunately for you, so did she. OTOH, threesomes are emotionally dicey and most men don't realize that until AFTER someone gets left out in the bedroom cold - equally likely to be the stranger, the boyfriend or the girlfriend... why take the chance just so you can get your dick wet by someone new? Do your partner and yourself a favor: quit making up BS about why you think a 3-way would be a good idea dn just say the truth: you'd like to experience a little more variety. Once said, accept the answer and shut up about it. If I had a dime for every guy who mentioned his desire for a 3-way while dating me.... gad! Yeah yeah, we hear you the first time you say it and you know what? We DON'T forget that you said it! We really don't.... we are just hoping you'll get the hint that it's probably not going to happen. Consider as well, when most women have sex with a non-stranger, there's likely some early attachment there, so you're taking a mild chance with giving your girlfriend away too.

So you like porno? Guess what? So does everyone else.... they just don't trumpet it all the time. Keep your mags and your vids and your DVDs and alla that to YOURSELF! I don't wanna hear about it! I worked in a fucking bookstore that sold used porno mags and you know what? It got dreary! I worked in a jack-shack as a manager and I had to talk about the clientele every day, it got dreary! I had to do research on Internet porn sites and you know what? FUCKIN-A It got DREARY! I'm glad you still enjoy it - but outside of my contentment that you are slap-happy - no one cares otherwise.

So you like to tally up your experiences and rave about all the wacky things you've done? Oh goody.... you are certainly not alone in your experiences but it doesn't make you Casanova just because you talk about it.

So you fantasize about doing it with a member of your own sex? Guess what? that doesn't make you gay or even Bi so quit acting like you're Mr or Ms empath of the year with the homosexual community. No one's spitting on your front lawn while you live with your hetero partner so you ain't even close to "understanding gayness" just cuz you get all hot thinking about the porn you saw with two cute chicks or dudes squealing on each other.

Bragging is boring.